Sanjay's Story
Navigating Change:
Supporting My Godmother in Her Time of Need
My name is Sanjay. I grew up in Mumbai, India. I'm an engineer by profession. We speak Marathi at home and follow most of Marathi (Hindu) tradition. In 1999 I moved to Ottawa, Canada where I met Sunita who became my godmother over a period of time. Sunita introduced me to many people including the India Canada Association where I actively participated. I always enjoy food prepared by her. She used to love hosting parties at home. Later I moved to San Jose, CA. I was in regular touch with Sunita and used to visit her in Ottawa. She used to visit us in San Jose as her daughter got married here in the Bay Area.
In the last 2 - 3 years I found that Sunita started to have symptoms of short term memory loss. She would repeat the same thing during our conversation. Despite telling me about my background such as information about my parents siblings who are alive and in India, she would say are your parents alive etc. Recently (Sept 2024) she visited again. She happened to be admitted to hospital. I spent a day with her taking care of her. I found that her memory loss is prominent as she first asked me about my daughter who is a doctor and married. Then she repeated my daughter's story with the nurse 5-6 times in a short period of 30 minutes. In a few minutes she forgot that she is in hospital and why she is there etc.
Over a period, our relationship changed in such a way that before she was my godmother but now I feel that I need to take care of her like a child. Sunita is 78 years of age. I'm concerned about her as we can't leave her home by herself as we are worried she might walk out and get lost.
We have friends and relatives who can take care of Sunita making sure she is not left alone. Another challenge is Sunita's husband Arjun 81 years old recently detected with cancer and had a stroke due to which he is almost blind. Sunita lives with Arjun and both have medical conditions. As a caregiver I feel very helpless at times. As now we are trying to help whatever help we could. I feel it is important to support in research of dementia as now our life expectancy is lengthen and it is important how to take precaution not to get affected by dementia
